100 Bean Burritos On The Wall

Before I begin this post, I must say, if you are easily offended by fart jokes, you probably shouldn't be looking for burrito recipes. You definitely shouldn't read mine.

Hubby is the steering wheel holder, and I am the cook. I make sure to send him out each week with a cooler full of food. One of his favorite things to eat on the road is burritos. (Glad I am not trapped in that truck on burrito weeks!) We are originally from Southern California, so burritos are pretty much a staple at our house.  Anyway, the freezer is out of burritos, so this week, I am
Senora Burrito.

Square burritos. Because, sometimes it helps to think inside the box. In this case, the box is a cooler, and I need to fit an entire week's worth of food in there. The flat burritos are easier to stack.

So here is a recipe for

Casey's Magic Burritos. Farts from the heart.

Ingredients

1 Bag of dried black beans (I don't know what size, whatever size you would get for about $1.50-$3)

1 Bag of dried red kidney beans (Same size as above)

3 cans Refried Beans (I like the vegetarian ones)

2 Tbs. Butter

1 Head of garlic, minced (about 1/8 -1/4 cup minced garlic)

1 Onion, chopped

4 Tbs. Olive oil (Any adjustments here are fine, you be the judge)

3 Cups uncooked rice

4 cups corn (canned or frozen or cut off the cob, whatever you like)

3 Cans Diced Tomatoes with Green chilies, (or about 3 cups salsa, or chopped up tomatoes with onions and cilantro and lime juice) 3 more cans on hand just in case.

1-2 Pounds shredded sharp cheddar cheese

100 Pre-made 10" tortillas. (You can buy them, or make them yourself)

optional:

Guacamole

sour cream

diced zucchini

cans of bean soup you find in the back of your cabinet

Cooked chicken

Cooked ground beef

Tofu

Different beans

Peppers

Chili powder

Alternate ingredients for lazy bums.

4 Cans Black Beans (15 oz cans or something like that)

4 Cans Kidney Beans

6 cups cooked rice (Instant would work)

Skip steps 1-5

Directions:

1. Soak dried beans in a giant bowl full of water overnight.

2. Boil a large pot of water and put all the soaked beans in it.

3. Boil beans for at least an hour, til they are soft. The black beans might get all the way to mushy before the red beans are done. There is probably some rule about not boiling them together. I don't care. Boil until the red beans are soft. Sing a song about magical fruits.

4. While the beans are boiling, put butter in a large pan you will cook rice in. add rice, and cook on medium high until butter is melted and rice starts browning. Add enough water to cook rice. Bring to a boil, then simmer until rice is done. (About 25 min. maybe more. just check on it. if water level is getting to low as it simmers, stir it up and add some more. You want to end up with cooked rice that is not dry, or liquidy.)

5.When rice is almost done, add a can of salsa (Tomatoes with Green Chilies or your own tomato mix)and stir. Continue to simmer.

6. While rice is cooking, saute garlic and onions in olive oil until onions are clear. Remove from heat. (Add peppers to this saute if you like spicier burritos.)

7. In a ginormous bowl, (No, seriously, bigger than that big one you think I am talking about. Maybe 2 bowls) add black and red beans, one can of refried beans, rice, corn, garlic and onion mix, one can or cup of tomato salsa stuff and half of the cheese. Mix it up. How does it look? If it seems runny and wet, add another can of refried beans. Too dry and thick, add a can of tomato stuff. Is it cheesy enough? Add as much as you like. Add 10 pounds if you want.  Add all of the ingredients if it seems like that will make it the right wetness. Taste it. Add more spices. Add chili powder. Add salt or lemon juice. Add whatever you like in your burritos.

8. Now you have so much burrito guts. You are wondering if you have gotten in over your head. You can not believe you have to deal with this. What were you thinking?!! WHY DID YOU LISTEN TO CASEY!?!?

9. It's cool, don't sweat it, take out a tortilla, stick it in the microwave or heat it on the stove just long enough to get it warm and pliable. Take a 1/4 cup of burrito guts, plop it in the center of the tortilla. fold one side up just over the guts, about 1/3 of the way. Turn the tortilla, and fold up the side next to it the same way, turn it again, and do the same. Now you have a burrito with an open end. Put it on a plate, grab your favorite drink, and sit down for a break. Yum.

10. Break time is over.

Flex your muscles, it is time to make 99 burritos!

11.Now, heat 4-5 tortillas at a time in the microwave. I put mine in for 44 seconds. It makes them softer and easier to fold. When you fold the ones for storing, don't leave that 4th end open, fold all sides like before, and then close by folding the 4th side down the same way. After you have a few of those wrap them in plastic or tinfoil . (I use tinfoil, because Randy's little food heater in his truck requires some sort of tinfoil dealy. He can just throw them in there to heat them up easily.) put a bunch in a freezer bag, store them up to who knows how long. With a family of 6, ours have never lasted more than 3 or 4 weeks.

12. if you have leftover guts, and no more tortillas, you can just serve them as a side dish for dinner, or you can freeze the guts in serving size portions, and have it for lunch on days you don't feel like cooking. :)

Enjoy!